Kindred
by Jirubee
Summary: For Kat. Rey struggles with her want to curb the loneliness she succumbed to after the events of The Last Jedi, and fills the void by finally accepting her love of Ben. (I'm seriously so happy that the Reylo trash boat is actually sailing.)


Closing her eyes, the scavenger, should she still call herself as such, leaned against a wall. The electrical paneling prodded the ladder of her spine as she sank to her haunches.

The breath in her lungs was stolen, and small hands wove into her mussed hair. The bustle about the ship became too much to withstand and she excused herself to this very spot.

It was quiet, save for the low hums and rattles of the Falcon's shoddy mechanisms backfiring. General Leia had taken one long look at her and pulled something from her.

That something was a memory. The stoic woman didn't see it, more so she felt it. She felt the uncertainty wafting off of the girl from the moment she stepped aboard the ship.

Deep down, Rey knew that the boy's mother already _knew_ that there was something stirring. She let it go in poise and let her dark eyes flitter over the young woman's flushed features before leaving her be.

Rey thumbed the tips of her fingers as she felt a jolt beseige her. She could still feel him lingering on her skin and she dissolved.

Her confusion, her want, her desire to continue swaying in and out of their bond made her stomach knot as she sat in the silence.

It took all of her willingness to push the last image of him from her head. The way he knelt before her, staring with those eyes filled with wanton as she slammed the door closed in his face. The power she held over him became nauseating and anything she could do to free him from his unearthly binds would have not swayed him.

All powerful men bow before those worthy, and she did not feel as though it was just. She did not want Kylo Ren to bend to her in such a way, she wanted _Ben_.

The human being beneath that facade was frightened, lonely, and wanted to be loved.

In the days since the dwindling Rebellion had retreated, Rey had tried to distract herself from everything that she knew and felt.

Even with all of the commotion, she still felt the same yearning she had all of her life.

As she clinked and clanked a menagerie of tools against busted components, the girl tuned into the banter from her companions.

They were sometimes too tumultuous to listen to without being driven mad. She had taken it upon herself to fixate on Poe, and ease the ache in her bones with his oddly brash humor and tenacity.

He was a rugged, handsome pilot, but she couldn't bring herself to pursue the flicker of attraction she felt.

It wasn't the same.

Poe had shaken her hand, had hugged her, commented on how impressive she was as a human being, but _he_ still pulled at her subconscious. The sensations were fuzzy and ignited. But it wasn't like Ben, softly touching her skin as though she were a deity.

That made her flesh rattle with color as she dropped her tools. A jagged breath shook her as heat permeated through her very bones. She was aching.

Her eyes opened to find moisture clinging to her lashes, bitterly pouring her emotions across the hills and valleys of her face.

Where was he? She wondered, recounting the many palpable conversations that drew her into his very being. It felt like suffocating in the vastness of the star-ladden andromeda seemed less painful than to want the closeness of this man.

Steeling herself, Rey pushed herself to her feet and rubbed the brackish wash from her face. She didn't have time to waste crying over a memory of him. The day would come when they would be face to face; not just in an astral garden that they willed.

Yet, as she rounded the corner with her fingers flipping the dimmers, she saw _him._ In his dark cloaking, he stood tall before her. His eyes bore holes into her visage and she froze. It was as if every piece of her body fragmented in that moment, and she looked around to see if anyone had noticed.

All of the contempt she felt brewing in her very core was a disservice, adding fuel to the darkness she hadressed as she willed his very soul to her. She felt his insistence pulling at their bond and she narrowly avoided looking him in the eye.

 _Leave me alone, Ben. I'm not doing this right now. This is not the time nor the place for this._

There was no smirk, no smugness to his features as his hair fell across his eyes as he leaned closer to her. He focused all of his efforts on the laceration on her arm, glowering at the scar that flittered across her warm skin.

 _ **I did not call for you, Rey. You welcomed me in, and I need you to realize that no matter how far you run from this, you will always end up right here. You say that I am not alone, yet you shut me out as if a physical barrier can stop this.**_

Rey inhaled sharply, flickering her vision over his being as though she had been injured. She felt his anguish dizzying his veins. She wanted to weep, but held on to the strength in herself.

 _I don't feel it necessary to go on like this. I want to put you in a box and bury it alongside my parents so that I can be free._

 ** _That's hurtful of you to say, little bird._**

The man held his hand outward, watching the way her body recoiled at the sight. She remembered the sensation as though it was the first time she had touched fire.

She hesitantly swallowed, staring at his long fingers as she shakily outstretched her own hand in response.

 _ **I'm not here to build the galaxy into a new dawn. I wanted this feeling. This oneness with you for a moment before we are at war.**_

Rey felt the palpitations of her heart stealing her breath as she gripped his smooth hand, feeling the pull of his darkness as it enveloped her. She wanted to refrain, but succumbed to the lucid dream of him being the very thing she had searched for.

Days ago, she had longed for this intimacy as much as she did when she was alone on Jakku. The man that she could love held her hand gingerly, thumbing over the scars and calluses on her digits.

Electricity pulsed through the places that they touched and she flinched at the sensation. His realness seemed to fade as their connection faltered with distraction. Her equivocal Light spilled into him as he leaned down to her, tilting his head ever so slightly.

He was a figment of her imagination, all poised and steadfast like a Prince she had heard of in stories from the scavengers on her home planet. None of it seemed real anymore. The Force magnified them, pushing their intoxication further and further over the edge as she stepped blindly into him.

 _ **Do you have nothing to say? Are you still this afraid of me?**_

Rey furrowed her brows as her glassy eyes met his, harnessing the last fragment of herself.

 _What does all of this mean, Ben? I cannot be with you. I cannot preside over a kingdom of darkness._

The man smiled faintly. It was crooked as the scar that partitioned his face. Her eyes fell on it, tracing it with her free hand as though it was a river that she had created. She hated that she had hurt him. Even more so, she felt his regrets as he flinched under her touch.

She imagined him standing alone in the hallway of his cruiser, hiding from the rest of the First Order to be with her for a moment. And in a way, it gave her solace that he had missed her.

 _ **Please let me have one thing from you. A memory I can hold onto while I have the opportunity.**_

Rey closed her eyes, and said openly and aloud. "I told you before, I would never give you anything."

 _ **But that was before...**_

 _It was, but I cannot give you what you want._

 ** _I won't take it unless you choose for me to receive it._**

It was in that moment that the girl felt the heaviness of his arms around her, crushing her with a warmth that she had never felt. His hands curled into her hair as she smothered in the darkness of his cloak and prodded at his shoulders.

He leaned back and gripped her chin, watching the emotions roll across her eyes, uncertain of the answer she would give. He clenched his jaw waiting on baited breath as the leaned closer, parting her mouth slowly.

Ben lowered his vision to her and swallowed. His eyes fell halflidded as he watched her through his lashes. The dim light around them, cast a shadow across her face.

 ** _Is this the answer, Rey? Is this the path that you are choosing to follow?_**

The scavenger could not longer contain the wanton desire pulsing through her veins. She locked eyes with him once more, reaching a hand along the side of his face.

A violent push and pull equalized her.

Her voice hummed through their bond as she slithered her fingers through the softness of his hair.

 _I just want this._

The ravenous need to claw through time and space submerged her as she felt a violent shift inside of her, just as sharply as she felt the light transmitting through his side of their bond.

Each motion was languid, beguiling as she pulled him down to her. Her lips caught his, unifying them for a moment.

It startled him in the confines of his own reality, as much as it did her. The moment sent shockwaves through their bones, defying the matter of their bodies as they felt the force melding them into one.

The gravity of his body became real, as they delved deeper into one another. Their subconscious became an amalgamation of their memories.

Each move sent a flash of their encounters together simmering through their vision, over stimulating their minds to a point of madness.

Rey felt anger within herself that he was not physically beside her. She craved this just as much as he did.

Kylo Ren, the Supreme Leader, knelt before her in an act of sorrow only to lead to this moment of torment. What he would have given to outstretch his fingers and feel the birth of a new world that revolved around this stelliform being that they could become.

The power he sought was buried in her, but the shell of it is what he craved. He was not the crude death that sought her blood, more so than the boy that crawled through her mind.

And in the moments where they melded, the static began to tear them apart as though a blackhole swallowed their bond. It was jarring, and abrupt leaving the murmuring voices of the remainder of the Rebellion soothing the wounds that their contact had left behind.

And it was darker than anything Kylo Ren could have ever been. It was damning how it hurt to fall that far into nothingness. And it felt just the same for the man that found himself choking at the sensation. He struggled against the weight of his clothing as he crawled across the glossy black flooring of his quarters. He couldn't feel her and his anger besieged him.

A worry set about his face as he stabilized himself, as his eyes fell on the plumes of stardust scattering outside of the paneling of his ship. Whatever would become of this was something neither of them could be free from, and with that, he dug deep inside of himself to find her consciousness.

Within a few moments, Rey shot up from the spot where she collapsed on the floor from their disconnection and gasped for air. Her eyes were damp, like her brow as sweat beaded around her mussed tresses.

She trembled as she focused on Finn patting her cheek as he fondly looked down upon her. Poe grabbed a small Bacta container and began doctoring a few scrapes she had sustained during her black out. She shook and steadied herself, searching the hall for Ben.

She knew he was gone. His warmth was gone and the loneliness within her grew all the more present. She knew he was still lingering, as he always would, but nothing in the way she longed for.

Finn questioned her as he sat her upright. She stared at him, feigning an assertiveness she hadn't the energy for as she searched his expression. She noticed that Poe clenched his jaw tightly as he wrapped up her reopened wound, and caught the subtle glances between the men.

A blush settled on her face as she realized that Poe's real interest lied in the First Order defect. It made her heart thrum for him, as she focus on anything but the swollen feeling of her mouth. It burned with a sensation she had never felt before, and she couldn't bring herself to hate it.

It was only when the General strode in an elegant gait to the corridor did Rey find herself uncomfortable. The woman ran her fingers alongside the beakers and flittered. She ran her nimble fingers along the metal casing, scanning her eyes over the hallway.

Closing her eyes, she remembered it was there where Han had finally captured her and she inhaled. Rey pushed herself to her feet, flustered and curious as to what the woman was doing.

As soon as Rey reassured Finn that she was fine, he and the pilot excused themselves as the General pinned her eyes on the girl.

The amount of terror resonating in the pit of the girl's stomach made her nauseous. Leia, kept her dark eyes fixated on her. She smirked in her own way, lightly chewing at her lip.

"They're a lot alike, you know?" Her voice sounded like a rattle. It was soft and dangerous in tone. "Ben is a lot like his father, it seems."

Rey's breath hitched in her throat. She shook her head, wishing to hide her wrong doing. She didn't wish to say a word in response. Leia already _knew_ and she could still feel it.

"At least we both understand." The former Princess quipped, smoothing a callused hand over the scavenger's cheek. " The men in this family really seem to like to seduce ladies at this breaker."

Rey furrowed her brows, "I-I can explain..."

Leia shook her head, "My time isn't infinite and there's nothing for you to explain. I didn't explain my love for Han and you do not have to explain your love of my son."


End file.
